A tapestry of diverse customs
Tonight we dance until the break of dawn!
In our ongoing series of Eish! articles, we look at the variety of cultural practices in South Africa and how they all contribute to the beautiful and rich tapestry of life in our country. In this edition Annette Willemse, Vaal Triangle Campus communication practitioner and ace journalist, writes about getting married in the Afrikaans culture.
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Weddings are a song and dance! My late Ouma Plaas (grandmother on the farm) believed love is blind and marriage is the proverbial pair of spectacles donned after the fact, which is of course always too late. Be that as it may, a traditional Afrikaans wedding is an event to be remembered.
Before the days of online flirting and blind dates, a wedding was usually preceded by an (overly long) period of courtship. The old folks were in no hurry. The lucky couples could look forward to whispering sweet nothings in the light of the courting candle, while the wall flowers had to be content with a note in the Lonely Hearts column of the Farmer's Weekly magazine. But at long last everyone would meet their match.
Today couples meet in April, become engaged in July and get married in December. There seems to be an unprecedented haste to get hitched.
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Ooo, how beautiful...
Some things never change, though. On the day of the wedding, a collective gasp is heard when the bride enters the church. The mother of the bride thinks how beautiful her daughter looks while the father tries to figure out what it is about the dress that made it so expensive.
While the minister reads from 1 Corinthians 13, you can see features softening as an ambience of romance descends upon everyone. Mom and dad move closer to each other, your aunt and her ex-husband exchange a secret glance, and – just for a moment – the neighbours' red-haired son looks almost attractive.
There is always an aunt who starts sobbing uncontrollably and a father who holds the pew in front of him in a white-knuckled grip in an attempt to keep his emotions in check. As with the wedding of the dear departed Lady Di, most weddings have an entourage that includes various nieces and cousins related by marriage – all in the same unflattering chiffon frocks.
The party kicks off
The real fun starts at the reception. The ooms (older gentlemen) get rid of their suit jackets and ties, the children shed shoes and socks, and the tannies (older ladies) seek shade against the afternoon sun whilst fanning themselves with the church pamphlets. The aroma of braaivleis (barbecued meat) fills the air, the tables groan under the weight of an abundance of homemade dishes, and the lights of the cash bar flicker from early on.
No effort is spared for a traditional Afrikaans wedding.
The guests are thoroughly spoilt with hearty, home-cooked food: meat, potatoes, salads and puddings. Name it, and it's as good as served: leg of pork, mutton roast, copper-penny salad, curried beans, malva pudding and quince preserve. (There was even a wedding where sheeps' heads were served.)
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Fast facts
Did you know that it is a sign of good luck if the bride sees a dove or sheep on her way to church? But beware a pig or funeral procession, as it will surely bring bad luck.
The good old adage of “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” is also quite significant. Something new is usually the dress, something old and borrowed grandmother's pearl earrings, and something blue often a delicate bow decorating the garter.
Witty Annette Willemse, communication practitioner on the Vaal Triangle Campus, shares the joys and woes of an Afrikaans wedding with us.
The later the merrier
When it is time for the groom to “speech”, the poor man tries in vain to get a word in between frequent and spontaneous outbursts of songs such as “Kinders by dosyne” (Children by the dozen) or “Lank sal hul lewe” (Long may they live).
After all the speeches and toasts are made, the bride and groom open the dance floor. Now don’t be surprised if you hear anything from the wedding march to Worsie Visser and Celine Dion at a wedding. Couples shuffle until late to the sounds of Kurt Darren and the Klipwerf Boereorkes – whether you can langarm (a type of dance) or not. The reception becomes merrier as the night grows longer.
And, suddenly, the master of ceremonies makes an announcement. It is time to toss the bride's garter and bouquet. This is when all the single ladies and gents are dragged and pushed to the floor, as the one who catches the garter or bouquet is said to be the next to wed.
By this time the older guests begin to make their way home. The poor master of ceremonies is at a loss for words, because how to explain to family and friends who travelled far that the table bouquets have already been promised to the sisters of the congregation who helped serve tea and coffee? It is, after all, almost tradition to take home a wedding souvenir or two...
- Annette Willemse, communication practitioner,
Vaal Triangle Campus
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